I remember in my early 20's how lost I felt in the corporate world. I was scared to show any weakness, and any mistake I made was a big deal for me. I couldn't understand the concept of learning and discovering. I was telling all my pals how I loved learning, but somehow when I was at work, I wasn't allowing myself to do it and couldn't accept that failing or making mistakes was a part of the process.
As time passed, stress, anxiety and lack of self-acceptance took place and changed me completely. If you have ever felt like you've lost yourself in your early professional years, then we must have been twins.
It took me almost 3 years to notice that I was hurting myself for the sake of doing my job perfectly at all times. In my mid 20's the dynamic changed in my life and as I was maturing, I became sharper and more motivated to be myself. I became more self-respectful and more aware of my essence and made sure I adapted my environment to who I am as an individual. The right jobs came to me and I slowly but surely began to fall into the right career path. I've had times when I had the right job with the wrong mindset and the wrong jobs with the right mentality. I regularly had to do a mental check (before talking about mental health was popular) to know if I was sane or not.
10 steps helped me adjust my professional/corporate environment with who I am:
1) Who am I? (my personality traits, my flaws and qualities and my Why)
I wanted to know who I am, how I felt about working at a job and if I was willing to change, if yes, how much. I wanted to observe my daily habits and what I liked and didn't like generally. Was I extroverted or introverted? Did I like small talk or not? Was I a focused young woman or was I too impatient to do the same tasks repetitively? I started digging and asking myself all kinds of silly questions you could ever think of. Every week I was recording myself describing whom I thought I was, and what I wanted to change in me to better my future.
2) I made a list of different jobs I could see myself doing without being mentally affected negatively
I didn't have a computer back then so I was going to the library every Friday. I went through every possible job that I thought I could tolerate. The point was for me to never be grumpy 24h a day because of a job. I made sure that I envision myself doing the jobs on that list from the less to the most fulfilling ones.
3) I always remember my options in the market
There is a difference between thinking that you're perfect, that the employers should feel lucky to have you and not the other way around, and you not being stuck in one job and losing self-confidence because you don't think you're good enough. Having balance in the corporate world will save you from all kinds of heartaches and headaches. It's important to have an abundance mindset and be fluid and shapeless like water.
4) I am open-minded and not afraid to change
Following the previous point, I was open to moving to a better position. What you are looking for is often looking for you as well. Change is the most effective way to improve every aspect of your life. It is a way for you to find what you are looking for and have the chance to use your skills for the right job or project. Remember that you want to find what fits your personality, your character and your skills all at once. Just because you don't find exactly what you're looking for doesn't mean you won't evolve or develop new skills and work on a talent that's been sleeping in you for so long. Be open to new possibilities.
5) I come before my job, not the other way around
I understand that I have hobbies outside of my occupation at work. I am free to go bowling, go to a bbq, go to a concert, a bar, a restaurant, etc. I am not defined by my occupation mainly at work. I am a polyvalent human being and the world gotta accept it like it is. I am a web designer, a singer, a podcaster, a writer and author, and an event organizer. I love topics about psychology, social studies and so much more. I have to have a LIFE outside of my job.
6) Networking has saved my life (even my mental health)
Networking was a personal decision. I have never been forced to network once in my entire life. I understood that in order for me to go where I wanted, I had to meet people who were going in a similar direction. I need fresh minds whom I could bond with, explore with, and even grow with. I have a thirst for learning during the whole process of reaching my goals. I want to learn about the good, the bad and the ugly. It's important to build a strong community for yourself. I am probably one event away from meeting THE person who could help me reach my goal.
7) Work-life balance is a must
I never found it quite appealing to work to the detriment of your health and your relationship with your family and friends. After my 25th year anniversary, I decided that I was no longer going to overwork myself. I was no longer going to lose my life force for work. I understood that I was worthy of living this life to the fullest and have been doing it ever since.
8) If I see myself morphing into somebody else or a stranger, I'll leave!
This point is Self-explanatory. If I am usually a calm person and I find myself losing it at work, time to go buddy !!! If I never want to be at the job, I am leaving. We have enough on our plate in our personal life, so no need to add more to it.
9) On the other end, I became more mature because of my job
I started being more patient with people when I started working in customer services years ago. I was able to easily connect with people in general. I was more comfortable having non-verbal conversations with most people I came in contact with. I started paying attention to my communication skills, and my triggers. A lot of things changed for the better because I chose to work in certain fields. Respecting my own standards has helped me pick better jobs and have a better work environment.
10) FREEDOM !!! You never beg for it. You take it. You are it !!!
No matter the responsibility you have at work, you are the most important component of your life. No matter how busy you might be. You deserve to breathe and feel the present. Your job is not a chain nor a trap. Your job is simply your job. You can stay and do it or change your mind and do something different with your life. The choice is yours.
Hopefully, this article spoke to you, and remember to be genuinely yourself where ever you'll be. This is your life!!!
ⓒWilscarly Naudé
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